Top Five Trains to Cry Alone on in NYC

5. 6 Train: Go ahead, cry. No one on this train can see because they have dead eyes from working in accounting and having to sing Happy Birthday to Anne today at lunch.

4. S Train: These people are choosing to be shuttled to Times Square. These people are choosing to be shuttled to Times Square. These people are choosing to be shuttled to Times Square. You crying in public is extremely sane in comparison.

3. J Train: Oh you’re crying? Well this man is in a baby stroller, singing the national anthem and smoking crack so we don’t care.

2. L Train: Cry your pretty little brains out and mumble an occasional “Consider the Lobster” and                                      people will literally start following you on Twitter

1. G Train: No one will see you. Everyone is asleep from spending hours trying too hard.