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Alyssa Limperis

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Bombed talking about my dead dad on stage. And what's even worse, my dad is dead.

January 31, 2016
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I won powerball and still can't afford to live in NYC

January 13, 2016
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Today was vegan sushi day at my brother's work & jar of peanut butter in bed day at mine

January 13, 2016
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Can't believe I still haven't gotten coffee with that girl I ran into on the street & sort of knew

January 13, 2016
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After much anticipation, a revolutionary male birth control was finally released. It’s called “a hoverboard”.

January 12, 2016

100% effective

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I've had my period for 4 weeks, personality wise

January 9, 2016
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I have anxiety that I have too much anxiety

January 9, 2016

Do I??????

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I once had a six pack but now I have dinner

January 9, 2016
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